Whether it’s friends and family, or social media, you’ll be hearing over and over that your wedding day will be the happiest day of your life, so why are they so stressful to plan and does it have to be that way?! A wedding can be made up of so many details that it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, however there are some simple tricks you can do to make it a more enjoyable experience for you AND your partner (remember that it's not just down to you!) Here are my tips from having spent a few years talking to brides and grooms in the run up to their wedding (plus also enjoy these photos of Cara & Mark's fun filled wedding day. Photography by Nick Georgiou Photography):
Have a Clear Vision
It’s very easy to get engaged, be over excited, start planning your dream day and go with ideas from the first few Pinterest pins you see. You may even commit to décor ideas and start making things, book the first venue you see because you think its perfect and exactly what you want. I booked my wedding venue before I started my business and having now visited well over 100 venues, I can tell you that you absolutely have to take some time in visiting a range of venues as there will be venues, themes, colour schemes and so much more that you don’t even know that you like yet. Also, if nothing else, it makes for a fun day out and at the end of it you’re not left with a bit of doubt that you chosen a venue that suited you as a couple, and was able to offer the vision you really want for your day. If you rush into these decisions you could end up with a disjointed feel to your day as you may have booked your venue and then 6 months later when you’ve decided on how you want your day to look, the venue doesn’t match your overall theme and the décor and feel of the day just doesn’t quite click. You need to have you clear vision of what it is you definitely want first, and then this will make the planning process more enjoyable.
Set a Budget
Sit down with your partner and decide together how much you want to spend, just remember that over-stretching will only add extra stress to your planning and potentially affect your mood on the day when all you can think about is how much each thing has cost you! Setting a budget will help you prioritize what’s important and avoid overspending. Decide on your non-negotiables. If your biggest priority is the perfect venue but it eats up 80% of your budget, then you know you need to de-prioritize some other aspects of your day.
Create a Timeline
If being organised and having colour coordinated post it notes give you inner peace, then you’ll know the joys that comes with sticking up one of those large yearly wall posters. Firstly, create a list of things that needs doing, this timeline from Rock My Wedding may be exactly what you need or at least give you a rough idea on which jobs need to go on your list, and you can then allocate a time period for those jobs on your own yearly planner. When you start to compile your ‘to do’ list it’s easy to become overwhelmed. Creating a timeline will help you stay on track and remind you that jobs are being done and that you’re staying on track. Break down tasks into manageable chunks if necessary and give yourself a little wiggle room so there’s breathing space if you do start to fall behind.
Stay Organised
If you’re old school then you could keep your wedding-related documents and information in one place, such as a binder or folder, however these days it’s much easier to create yourselves a wedding email account with some sort of cloud drive attached where you can then store any wedding related content such as a spread sheet which includes important info including supplier contact lists, budget and guest list. Creating a dedicated wedding Pinterest board is also not only helpful for your own research, but you can share these boards with potential florists, bridal shops, décor hire and photographers so that your vision is clear to your suppliers on how you’d like your day to look and feel.
Hire a Wedding Planner
An investment definitely worth making if you have the budget for one, a wedding planner won’t do everything for you, but they will manage so much and relieve a lot of the work and stress involved in organising and on the day co-ordination. A first class service can be found from Donna Hartley-Redfearn of North East Wedding Planners. With over 25 years experience, not only are you in the safest hands, her motto is ‘Be You Be Free’ which I just love, and she will help to deliver a day that is boldly you with depth, atmosphere and style. Donna’s portfolio is so impressive, as an example check out this Inner City Festival Wedding to get a glimpse of the quality service.
Make Wedding Planning a Treat
To reduce stress, why not make your brain associate wedding planning with something fun! You and your partner could visit your favourite restaurant or café to spend a dedicated couple of hours planning your big day, or just have a date night at home and do some planning over a bottle of wine. Also, fully embrace days out at venues or wedding fairs with cake samples and menu tasting.
Take Breaks
Wedding planning can completely over take your life to the point where friends start giving you the eye roll when you mention anything wedding related! Avoid overwhelm and becoming the crazy wedding person by dedicating some time to yourself and your partner to reconnect over anything that’s not to do with weddings! A relaxing spa day or a fun day out every now and then is all it takes to press reset.
Focus On What's Important
It’s so easy to become obsessed with the little details that minor imperfections can cause massive reactions. Yes you’d like your day to be picture perfect but keep to the front of your mind that the commitment you’re making with your partner is ultimately what your day is about. Also, remember to focus on what is important to YOU as a couple, it’s fine to accommodate family’s requests if they make you happy, but it’s important to set boundaries early on that this is your day.
Find Wedding Suppliers Who Get You
Do your research around the person behind the business, if they’re happy to show their face as part of their brand then it’s a helpful indicator to look behind the scenes and see if they align with your values. Suppliers picked based on price alone won’t always care about customer service and from my own experience talking to couples on the day of their wedding, their biggest stress is not even knowing if some suppliers are turning up as they get ghosted after a deposit is paid. I have a clear customer journey mapped out from the very first enquiry right up until the big day and even afterwards in gathering feedback on your experience with my business.
Don't Cut Corners On Things That Matter
With spiralling living expenses it can be tempting to cut back on costs, however as mentioned in my previous point, this can lead to added stresses on the day that you just don’t need. Having quality items, food, and staff will ensure the smooth running of your day, leaving you free to just enjoy yourself. DIY can be a good way to save money, but also consider your own role which should be to fully enjoy your day in the most relaxed way possible, and is this achievable if you’re spending the first few hours of your wedding day dressing the venue?
Ask Family and Friends For Help
These days we can see ourselves as being a ‘bother’ when asking for help but generally people love to feel useful and there’ll be people in your family and friendship groups who would love to be involved in your day! Is there anyone you know with some handy skills that could help with a certain part of your décor? Or even just get your bridemaids together for a day of crafting your own favours.
Set a Date For Final Wedding Prep
If you can, set a date 2 weeks before your wedding whereby everything is ticked off your list and no more DIY or chasing up suppliers is needed. If this is not possible then as a minimum give yourself a week to ensure you’re not burned out come the day of your wedding.
Communicate With Your Guests
Guest admin or “guest-min” can be one of the biggest headaches with everyone wanting to know what to wear, where to stay, do they need a taxi, what the food will be, what you’d like as a gift and so on. Help minimise repeating yourself by creating a wedding website that you can direct people to. There’s some great free sites you can use, I particularly like Getting Married
I hope you've found these tips helpful and maybe you already feel a little more relaxed!
Friends included in this blog:
Baby Moon - https://www.babymooncamp.com/
Nick Georgiou Photography - https://www.nickgeorgiouphotography.co.uk/
North East Wedding Planner - https://www.northeastweddingplanner.co.uk/
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